What is Sex Therapy?
What Sex Therapy is - and isn’t - how it works, and how it can help you find greater pleasure and fulfillment!
Sex Therapy is a specialized type of therapy focused on sexual health and pleasure, provided by a licensed psychotherapist who has extensive knowledge and training in human sexuality and sexual issues. Sex Therapists take a holistic view of sexual health and pleasure, addressing not just physical elements of sex, but also the mental, emotional, and relational aspects. This can include talk therapy, somatic therapy and mindfulness, trauma therapy, education sexual health and functioning, and communication/relationship skills.
Sex therapy can be for individuals, or couples/relationships - you do not have to have a current partner to go to sex therapy. In fact, you do not even have to have any prior sexual experience at all! Many people seek sex therapy to help them feel more comfortable with their own sexuality and solo pleasure, whether or not they have/are seeking/want a partner or not.
What can Sex Therapy help with?
Issues related to sexual functioning - such as loss of desire, difficulty getting aroused or reaching orgasm, premature ejaculation, erectile dysfunction, or discomfort or pain during sex.
Sexual trauma - healing from upsetting or traumatic experiences, learning new ways to find safety in sexual exploration, and reclaiming your sexual pleasure.
Sexual confidence, self-esteem, and empowerment.
Exploring and understanding your sexual orientation and gender identity.
Relationship issues such as desire discrepancies, different sexual interests, or loss of sexual connection.
Communication skills for consent, boundaries, negotiation, and confidently asking for what you need and want during sex.
Challenges related to changes in your sexuality and sex life from illness, disability, aging, or other life changes.
Incorporating BDSM and kink or other new fantasies into your sex life.
Opening up your relationship - navigating threesomes, swinging, ethical non-monogamy, and polyamory.
What to expect from Sex Therapy:
Your Sex Therapist will ask about your sexual history, and the history/details of any issues you are experiencing, to get a better picture of what is going on. They will ask what your goals for Sex Therapy are - and work with you to clarify what you personally hope to change or achieve through this work, including exploring what sexual health or sexual pleasure might mean to you - because this can look different for everyone, and everyone’s goals will be different!
Then your Sex Therapist will help you to examine other factors in your life that may be impacting your sexual experiences, to identify any underlying causes or contributing issues. This may include exploring the stories and messages you heard about sex growing up, and how these have influenced your values and views of sex, and comfort with your own sexuality. You will also explore how experiences such as past relationships, life changes, trauma, etc. have impacted you and your sexuality. Then together, you and the therapist will come up with a plan for how you would like to work together to address the issues or concerns you have identified, and work towards your goals for a healthy and pleasurable sex life.
Your safety and comfort is always a priority in this work - and Sex Therapists are trained to ask for your permission to talk about and explore these topics, always letting you know that you can decline to answer questions or talk about certain things that you may not be ready to go into yet. And throughout the process of therapy, you will be making decisions and having conversations with your therapist about whether or not you want to try things, whether or not something is helping, and how you are feeling overall about the work - essentially, you are in the driver’s seat, and the therapist is helping you navigate, but you control the steering, the gas, and the brakes. This is both about respecting your boundaries and autonomy, and teaching what healthy relationships and communication can look like!
Sex Therapy does NOT involve physical contact or sexual activity during therapy sessions, and sex therapists do not engage in or observe any form of sexual activity with their therapy clients. But a Sex Therapist does often give clients “homework” in the form of exercises or techniques they can use on their own or with a partner at home, reading material or videos, and skills such as mindfulness practices. A Sex Therapist may also recommend refer clients to work with other providers in collaboration, such as medical doctors and specialists, physical therapists, and psychiatrists depending on each clients needs.
If you are struggling with any sexual issues; or are just curious about your sexuality, your sexual pleasure, or your sexual relationships - Sex Therapy can provide a place to explore without judgment, ask the questions you’ve always been afraid to ask, and find greater understanding and pleasure!
Allison Marx is a Licensed Marriage & Family Therapist and Registered Art Therapist in Los Angeles, CA. She specializes in LGBTQIA+ affirmative, poly/ENM-friendly, and kink-knowledgeable Sex Therapy for couples/partnerships and individuals.
Interested in therapy? Reach out to schedule a free consultation call!
In-person therapy for residents of Los Angeles County, including Torrance, Palos Verdes, Rolling Hills, Lomita, Redondo Beach, Hermosa Beach, Manhattan Beach, El Segundo, Hawthorne, Lawndale, Gardena, and Long Beach.
Online therapy via telehealth throughout the state of California.